Happy Hour And The Danger Of Comfort

My heart raced. Happy hour was in half an hour. I wanted to go home. Doing new things was stupid, I had decided. My comfort zone existed for a reason so I might as well stay in it. Right?

Wrong. My partner in crime laid it out for me: I had to go. We had promised each other. I ended up going with my RPCV coworker and a tiny crew we picked up on the way. To be honest, going with a group felt a little like cheating but I was nervous sweating anyway, so I'm gonna say it counts. We went to a bar which offered $2 beers. They tasted like nothing, which is the best thing a beer could taste like.

In most social situations, especially with groups, there's a moment of choice. Two conversations are going on, and you can't listen to both. In my case, conversations on one side centered around guy who loved talking, and the other included two dudes who made an uncomfortable amount of eye contact. Easy choice. I turned to talkative dude. Eventually my conversation crew asked me about my Peace Corps service. As I was telling them, I looked around to see if they were listening, as I usually do. I almost stopped talking. They were all fixated on me. That NEVER happens. Unless I impress small children by touching the ceiling. Or if I fall down dramatically. But, other than that, it's a rarity. Maybe it was because we were in a bar and they couldn't hear me. Or they genuinely wanted to hear what I had to say. I don't know. Regardless, it was nice. I left first, but only because I had a long commute.I'm glad I went, and would consider going again. I enjoyed getting to know EPA folks, especially the RPCVs. 

 As per usual, doing something outside of my comfort zone was initially exceptionally uncomfortable, but rewarding. It's so easy to stay inside my comfort zone. To go to work and return home, sleep, and do it again. It's easy to stay here every weekend, walking the dog with my family and reading books all day. That's finally easy. It's comfortable. But, I'm not sure if it's enough. I'm not sure if it fulfills me. It's going to be tough to find the balance of how much and what makes me feel better. I don't want to live in fear of doing new things. I want to find that fulfillment somewhere. However, I have to remind myself it's the journey not the destination.