Before I left for Peace Corps I felt that something was missing in my life. I didn't know what direction to go in or where to find meaning. Then I was in Peace Corps and I felt like I was drowning. I had such appreciation for air that I forgot what it felt like to constantly seek meaning. I was doing the thing I had set out to do and felt proud of that, even when that included laying in my hammock feverish, stinky and sweaty. Of course it's easy to say that retrospectively, but I did push myself out of my comfort zone in Peace Corps because I knew it would be better in the long run. And it was.
But now I'm here. I've got a job, a bed with a blanket that heats up whenever I want and pretty much any amenities you can think of. The meaning, and the fulfillment, I had in Peace Corps isn't here. Some things are certainly challenging, but it's not the continuous onslaught of things that put me outside of my comfort zone. I've found myself spending more and more time at home being comfortable, instead of doing something new. I began seeking validation in horrible online dates, in furious job applications and took each rejection personally.
I owe it to myself to continue growing. Being comfortable in your own skin is incredibly important, but so is finding space for growth. I'm hoping by putting myself out of my comfort zone I'll give myself the room I need to show my strength. This blog is how I'll keep myself on track. Because once you post something on the internet it instantly becomes true, right?
For January I'm starting off easy by aiming for 2-3 outings of something I want to do but am nervous to do because social anxiety. Probably attending an open mic or writing group or even just writing publicly in a coffee shop. I'll write about each episode after I've done it so you know it's legit.
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